End of an Era
by sandybeliever
Summary: The last in my Aubrey storyline. There is a building collapse and Roy can't find Johnny. Did he run in when everyone was running out?


**End of an Era**

Johnny came out of the bathroom yawning. Pulling on his jeans, he then flopped down onto the edge of the bed and pulled a sock onto his left foot followed by a sneaker. Aubrey came into the room with a basket of clean laundry as Johnny let out another yawn.

"Aw, are you tired, G-Man?"

Johnny nodded and pulled his right sneaker on. "I just need coffee. I should have gone to bed a little earlier knowing I had to work today." He studied his right sneaker and bare right ankle. Aubrey started to giggle. She picked up the missing sock and handed it to Johnny who smirked and pulled off the sneaker. "Thanks."

"Well, I'm sorry I worked you so hard but we did get a lot accomplished. Oh, do you time to drop those two bags of clothes at the Salvation Army before work?"

Johnny looked over at the bedside clock. "Yeah, I should have time to do that. And you put those two pairs of old uniform pants and the jacket in there, right?"

"I sure did. Glad you decided to replace them, they were looking pretty ratty," Aubrey said as she shut the bureau drawer and headed into Delia's room.

~ E ~

Johnny pulled into the parking lot of the thrift store a few blocks from the station. He walked over to the donation bins and saw that they were so full that bags of clothes were spilling out onto the ground. He walked over to the front of the store. "Opens at 9," he mumbled to himself as he read the sign on the door. "Well, I can leave these here now and they will pick them up when they get here in a few hours." He pulled the two plastic bags from his back seat and placed them neatly beside the bin closest to the door. He didn't notice the figure standing in the shadows near the back of the building.

Once the Rover pulled out into the street and disappeared around a corner, the figure emerged from the shadows. It was a man about 45 years old. His clothes and unkempt appearance made it obvious he was indigent.

He scurried into the parking lot and pulled open the first of the two bags. Seeing only women's and infant's clothes, he pushed it aside in disgust. Moving onto the second bag, he hoped his luck would change. "Well, lookie here, Lenny," he said aloud to himself. "You hit paydirt. Sifting through the items, he found a navy blue jacket. Checking the size, he laughed happily and placed it on top of his backpack. He tossed a few warm sweaters on top of the jacket. At the bottom of the bag, he found the uniform pants. "Ugly," he stated but out of habit he rifled through the pockets until his fingers felt something leathery. Pulling out the item, his blue eyes lit up as he saw the watch. He let out a whistle and strapped the watch onto his wrist. There were two baseball caps under the pants. He pulled the hood off of his head exposing his dark brown wavy hair. Placing the cap on his head he walked to the large plate glass window of the store and studied himself in the reflection. "Not bad," he said. Pleased with his take, he pulled the cap off of his head and stuffed it into the backpack along with the sweaters. He looked down at the ratty pullover sweatshirt he was wearing. Sneering, he pulled it over his head and tossed it into the pile of clothes spilling from the bin. He slipped into the navy jacket. "Fits just right." He shrugged into the backpack straps and continued on his way. His goal for today was to rummage through the trash at the construction site over on Watson Center Road. "They better not be working another Saturday over there," the man snarled as he stepped onto the sidewalk.

~ E ~

After roll call, Johnny headed for the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee.

"Isn't that your third cup, Partner," Roy asked, heading for the pot himself.

"It is. I think I'm finally waking up."

"I told you I would help you yesterday. You have always helped me around my house and I owe you."

Johnny dismissed Roy's comment with a wave of his hand. "It wasn't so much the work as the staying up to watch Rockford Files last night."

Roy headed into the dorms to start his chores as Marco came into the kitchen. Johnny knew he better get started on the bay floor and looked down at his left wrist. "Oh damn, I forgot my watch."

Marco was about to start cleaning the day room and turned toward his friend. "Do you want to borrow mine, Johnny? I know you need it a lot more than I do."

Johnny considered the offer but replied, "No, I'll manage, Marco but thanks." Downing the last of his coffee, Johnny put the mug in the sink and went to start the day's chores.

~ E ~

Lenny rounded the corner and heard the construction crew before he saw them. He kicked at the dirt in anger. "How am I supposed to get anything done with them in the way?" He crept closer and ducked behind a dumpster to listen to the workers. Maybe they weren't going to stay the whole day and it would be worth his while to wait them out.

Two men in hard hats were studying some blue prints. Lenny couldn't see them from his hiding spot but could hear them clearly.

_I don't like it, Tony._

_I don't care if you like it or not, I'm in charge here and you will do as I say._

_But you know what will happen without that rebar being in place._

_Oh come on, there is a one in a million chance this place will fail and not only do we save the cost of the materials, we save a week of man hours or more._

_Still…_

_Look, you'll see a bonus in your paycheck when we are done here – but only if we finish ahead of schedule and by my rules._

_Okay, you have a deal. Now let's get moving, we only have these workers until noon._

"Perfect," Lenny said quietly. "I'll just find a spot to wait."

When he came out from behind the dumpster to look around he heard a man cry out. The workers all dropped what they were doing and ran to see what happened.

"_Ay, Dios mio_, I cut my hand."

"Dammit Rico, how many times have I told you to keep that blade guard down? Roger, go call the paramedics from that payphone down the road." Tony led Rico over to a stack of wood and sat him down. Pulling a handkerchief from his pocket, he wrapped it around the bleeding wound. "I oughta fire you for this mess up, Rico. The rest of you, get back to work, _now_."

Lenny used the diversion to slip into the back of the building. He started to move through the piles of discarded materials looking for anything of value.

Station 51 was called to the construction accident and arrived five minutes later. As Roy and Johnny tended to the injured worker, Captain Stanley looked around for the lead man.

"Excuse me, are you the foreman here?" Hank asked.

"Yeah, what do you want?" Tony asked, annoyed. "I told him to keep the blade guard down, it's not my fault.

Hank drew back, surprised by the response. "No sir, I need you to just get your men back so we can work on the injured man."

"Hell, no! They keep working. You are taking Rico to the hospital, aren't you?"

"Eventually," Hank said through clenched teeth. He wasn't liking this man at all. He could already hear the ambulance approaching.

"Well, then we won't be in the way there, will we?" Tony said snidely. He turned his back on the Captain. "Roger, we need that load of cement over here."

"10-4 Rampart," Roy said. He hung up the bio-phone and finished taping the gauze that was wrapped around the victim's hand. "You are going to need some stitches on this and they will make sure you haven't injured the tendon. I think you'll be fine, though." Roy turned to Marco who was standing nearby. "Marco, can you make sure he understands? His English isn't very good." Marco nodded and began to explain everything to Rico in Spanish while Roy cleaned up the gauze wrappers and tape. Johnny waved to the approaching ambulance.

Meanwhile, Roger nodded at his boss and jumped into the cab of the dump truck. Putting it into reverse, he quickly backed the vehicle up toward the building. In his haste, he miscalculated and struck the façade of the building which began to crumble. In a domino-like reaction, the first floor began to collapse. Workers started to flee the falling debris.

Johnny spun around and bolted toward the chaos. He heard a scream from somewhere inside the structure and dashed into the crumbling building. Hank hadn't seen Johnny enter as running men rushed towards him, pushing him aside.

Roy was checking each man to make sure there were no injuries. Hank was asking Tony for a headcount of his men and wasn't getting anywhere as the man just stood cursing a blue streak at Roger. Helping an injured worker over to the squad, Roy looked around for Johnny.

The building gave another dying groan and a second section of the first floor shuddered and collapsed down.

Hank grabbed the foreman's arm and spun him around to face him. "Look, mister, either you start doing a head count of your men or I'll get the LAPD down here so fast…"

Tony threw up his hands, "Alright, alright." He stormed off and Hank closed his eyes as tried to quell the anger seething inside him. He heard Roy calling to him from over at the squad and Hank tensed at the panic in his senior paramedic's voice.

He met Roy halfway, "What have you got?"

Roy looked back at the man sitting on the bumper of the squad. "That's just a broken wrist but have you seen Johnny?"

Hank's eyes quickly swept the area. His heart jumped as he called out, "John!"

Mike heard Hank and jogged over to join him. "I don't see him anywhere, Cap," he said as he also surveyed the site.

Hank did not look directly at Roy when he asked, "You don't think he went into the building, do you?"

Roy's breathing quickened as he again looked around frantically. Chet and Marco had run the perimeter of the building and came back around shaking their heads grimly. "I think so, Cap," Roy replied.

Hank took in a breath as he pulled his handy talkie from his pocket. "LA, this is Engine 51; I need a second alarm at our location. There has been a building collapse."

As Hank pushed the antennae down and stowed the HT back into his pocket, Roy had come out of his stupor and was heading toward the building. Hank reached out and grabbed hold of Roy's elbow as he passed. "Hold on there, Pal. No one is going in there until we are assured the building won't go down on all of us."

Roy looked back at his captain helplessly. He took a stumbling step backward. "Johnny," he whispered. He felt Mike's hand on his shoulder and although he appreciated the gesture, Roy stepped away from it afraid that the comfort would allow him to break down. His stomach rolled wondering where his partner was and what shape he was in. He felt himself begin to shake as the adrenaline surged. It took all his strength to stop himself from running into the structure so instead he paced.

Hank saw the original victim sitting in the ambulance. He walked over and pulled the attendant aside. "Can you let Rampart know that you are staying behind and will bring him in when…" The attendant nodded solemnly and went to radio in the request.

Hank jogged over to Engine 110 as it arrived and updated Captain Moore on the situation who then began to shout orders to his crew and relieved 51's captain of the responsibility. Both Captains were surprised to see Chief McConnikee arriving right behind 110s.

"I was in the area and heard the call," the chief said to Hank as he surveyed the debris. Seeing the look on Hank's face, he knew one of their own was under the rubble. "Who is it?"

Hank paused and then answered, "Gage."

McConnikee put a consoling hand on the other man's shoulder. "We'll find him."

"But will it be in time?" Hank asked quietly.

It was over fifteen minutes before a structural engineer arrived and another twenty-five until he deemed the building secure enough for rescuers to enter it. By then Roy's adrenaline had run out and he was sitting slumped on the side of the engine. The construction crew had left with the exception of Tony, the foreman, who was being interrogated by the police after the engineer discovered the reason for the building collapse.

The two victims had been sent to Rampart by the 110 paramedics only when a second ambulance arrived to relieve the first.

Roy's head rested in his hands until he heard the all clear called. He was up in an instant and rushing to join the other men. Hank stepped in his way. "Are you up for this, Roy?"

Roy looked at Hank and raised an eyebrow. "Of course I'm up for this," he said a bit more loudly than he had intended. Roy swallowed hard knowing that Johnny's 'golden hour' was almost used up. No one had heard anything coming from the building even after the generators that powered the site had been shut down. Without another word, he put his helmet on and moved to enter the building. The group of men entered from the rear of the building with the intent of moving from the back to the front into where the collapses occurred.

The search was slow going as chunks of cement and other debris were carefully pushed aside. Each time anything substantial was moved, the group hesitated to ensure that it wouldn't make the structure less stable and endanger the rescuers themselves.

Roy's boot caught and he stumbled forward. Mike reached out to steady him. "You okay?" he asked. Roy just nodded and kept moving. He didn't want to tell him that he felt like his legs would go out from under him soon. His heart was pounding so hard in his chest, he could feel it right through to his spine.

The closer they got to the front of the building the less space they had to maneuver. Soon the men were broken into groups of two as they weaved their way into the darkness. Light from the many flashlights bounced off the walls and rubble, casting eerie shadows. Chief McConnikee's voice could be heard behind Roy. Despite, Hank's urging to stay on safer ground, the chief insisted on joining the search.

Roy came to a large piece of beam that blocked his path forward. He placed a shoulder on it and pushed tentatively. Seeing that it was in fact not holding up a section of ceiling, Mike joined Roy and the two men shoved the timber aside. Roy picked up his flashlight again and swept the area in front of him. He wasn't sure if it was his own gasp or Mike's that he heard as the ray of light came to rest on what Roy feared most.

Mike pulled Roy back and stepped in front of him. Using his own flashlight he peered under the massive piece of concrete in front of him. There was an arm protruding from under the wreckage. To the right of the arm dark brown hair could be seen. A pool of blood seeped from under the concrete. Mike felt himself pushed forward as Roy came out of his shock and tried to get past him to Johnny's side. Roy fell to his knees and crawled forward under the concrete slab. He reached for the wrist to feel for a pulse.

Mike had regained his footing as he heard the sob come from Roy. It was a frightening sound. He swung to face the chief behind him. "We need to get DeSoto out of here _now_." He didn't care if he was being insubordinate to the superior officer. All he cared about was getting Roy out of the building and away from the horror that they now all faced.

Mike and McConnikee stooped on either side of Roy and pulled him from under the concrete block. Roy started flailing wildly and shouting, "No! Johnny! No!" He desperately tried to crawl back to help his fallen friend.

Marco and Chet both paled at the sounds they heard not far from where they were searching. After a moment, they steeled themselves and hurried over the debris to help pull Roy out of the building. By the time they reached where Mike and the chief were, Mike had Roy on his feet with his arms wrapped around the man's shoulders. Roy was fighting him.

"Roy!" Mike shouted. "Roy, don't. It's too late. It's too late. There is nothing you can do." He turned to Mike and Chet. "Get him out of here!"

Roy's legs went out from under him as he let out a pitiful wail. Chet and Marco dragged him out of the building handing him off to Pacheco, one of 110's paramedics. Mike Thomas, the other of 110's team headed into the building to confirm what Roy had discovered.

Hank came to Roy's side as Marco lowered the man onto the yellow blanket laid out on the ground. He silently began praying that Johnny had not suffered before he died. It was all he could think of to do at this point. Roy sat up and became quiet as he stared into the darkness of the building. When Thomas emerged looking pale and grim, Roy began to rock, wrapping his arms around his knees.

Mike came slowly out of the building into the sunlight. He was covered in a thin layer of gray dust. Hank stood up from Roy's side to grab onto his engineer's arm. Quietly Hank whispered into Mike's ear, "We're sure it's him?"

"I saw the watch I gave him for Christmas two years ago," Roy said still staring unblinking into the building.

Hank closed his eyes as he and Mike leaned into each other for support. Marco sat back on his heels and shook his head as something nagged in the back of his mind.

Hank pulled his handy talkie from his pocket but was stopped by Chief McConnikee. I'll take care of calling in replacements," he looked down at Roy, "for both your medics and…" Hank nodded as he understood the unspoken words. The chief stepped away to make the call for the coroner.

"Roy, I want you to go get checked out at Rampart." Hank said. When Roy didn't respond, Hank crouched down in front of him. With his view into the building blocked, Roy blinked a few times and then focused on his captain's face.

"I…I need to say here." When Roy saw Hank start to protest he added, "Just until they bring him out. Please."

Hank looked up at Pacheco who had Roy's vitals on a pad in his hand. The man nodded so Hank relented. "Okay, but as soon as we move him out, you'll go in with Chris." After a moment, Roy nodded absently.

Hank looked at Marco who was mouthing a prayer. He knew the man's faith would carry him through. Mike stood nearby and nodded to Hank that he was alright. Hank then looked around searching for Chet. He found him standing beyond the group of the 110 crew. Hank made his way to the lineman's side. He stood quietly for a moment as Chet sense his presence and wiped the back of a hand across his face. Looking up at Hank with glistening eyes, Chet said, "Not Johnny. It can't be Johnny."

Hank reached to place a hand on the back of Chet's head who then leaned in and rested his forehead on Hank's shoulder for a moment before pulling away. He quickly walked toward the front of the structure.

"I'll meet the coroner," he called back over his shoulder, his voice husky with emotion.

Hank let out a sigh. He pulled together all his reserves to make it through the rest of this day. Tomorrow would be when he would grieve. For now, he had to be strong for his men.

Captain Moore had his men bring in two porta-powers once the structural engineer had investigated the area and gave the okay.

Making sure that Roy was being watch over by Pacheco, Marco got up and moved over to Mike.

"Mike, I just remembered something."

"What is it, Marco?"

"Roy said he saw Johnny's watch but I remember Johnny saying he had forgotten his watch this morning. I know because I offered to lend him mine."

Mike looked over at his friend, his brow knit in concern. He then sadly smiled. "He must have found it after that, Marco." Marco thought about it and his shoulders sagged as he nodded.

"I was just hoping…"

Mike patted Marco's shoulder. "We all were. But he was even wearing his blue jacket." Mike's voice cracked with emotion.

Chet came from the street-side of the building leading the coroner team with their gurney. His face was stoic and emotionless.

A stokes had been brought in to retrieve the body and Roy once again began to shake. Pacheco stooped down to retake his vitals.

Suddenly, Captain Moore rushed out into the light glancing around the group of men until he spotted Captain Stanley. He went to him and leaned in to say something.

"What?" Hank said in astonishment. "How can that be?" Everyone turned to face the two men. Hank looked down at Roy. He walked quickly to him and bent down. "Roy, it's not Johnny you found."

Roy pushed himself up off the ground, he waivered and Pacheco reached to steady him. "I know what I saw, Cap." The conflicting emotions of joy and relief crashed into confusion and his head spun.

Hank felt for Roy but needed to get the men moving again. "Chief," he called to the older man. "We still have someone inside!" Looking over at Marco, he nodded as the lineman took over supporting Roy.

Roy watched as the covered body was removed from the building and placed on the waiting coroner's gurney. He pulled free of Marco's grip and reached to pull the blanket down off the man's face. Captain Moore grabbed his wrist roughly.

"Roy, don't. You don't want to see that."

"I have to be sure, I know what I saw."

Captain Moore reached down and uncovered the legs of the victim. Roy looked at the torn jeans and brown work boots and let out a sound that was both a laugh and a cry. As the gurney was pulled away Roy reached and grabbed his turnout coat and shrugged it on.

"Let's find my partner."

With renewed fervor, the group of rescuers began once again looking for their fallen comrade. The structural engineer was now at their side, knowing that time was running out for an injured man buried beneath a building. Roy couldn't contain himself and was ignoring the safety rules despite repeated warnings from Chief McConnikee who didn't want to lose another man.

Roy started to call out Johnny's name. Everyone stopped and waited. Roy called again. "Johnny, answer me!" His words bounced back at him followed by a very small sound.

"What was that?" Chet asked, grabbing onto Roy. "Was that him?"

"I don't know," Roy replied and called out again.

"Roy!" Came a muffled response. A cheer rose up from the group of men.

After pinpointing where Johnny was trapped and using some of the construction equipment to clear the way, Roy was soon lowered down into the building's elevator shaft. Captain Moore wanted his men to go down but quickly decided that they would be treating Roy for a heart attack if the man wasn't allowed to rescue his best friend.

Roy knelt down next to Johnny and used his flashlight to assess him. "Where are you hurt?"

"I think I'm okay. My ankle hurts and I'm all scraped up since I came in here with only my jacket, not my turnout."

"Did you hit your head?" Roy asked in disbelief.

"Nah. I called out for a long time but I guess you couldn't hear me so I gave up and just sat and waited. I think I may have dozed off. What took you so long?" Johnny's casual whine sounded like Roy had simply been late to dinner.

Roy, who had been palpitating Johnny's limbs, stopped and stared at his best friend. "You dozed off? Johnny, we thought you were dead."

Johnny laughed lightly, "I'm sorry I worried you."

Roy sat back on his heels and braced himself on the wall of the shaft with his right arm. He put his head down and took a few deep breaths. Johnny became concerned. "Hey, Roy, are you okay? Did you get hurt?"

Roy leaned his head back and laughed mordantly. "Yeah, I'm fine," he snapped.

"Geez, okay. Help me up, would ya?"

After a solid two minutes of arguing that Johnny should be brought out on a stokes, Roy finally threw up his hands and hooked a lifeline to the man. He was pulled up and walked out of the building on his own power, although he was limping slightly. Another cheer went up from the two crews after a short stunned silence. Everyone felt they were seeing a dead man walking.

Roy followed Johnny out. He ignored the congratulations and the pats on the back. He walked up to Chris Pacheco. "He seems okay but check him out, would you?" Roy walked to the squad and started packing up the equipment that had been left out from the first two victims. Pushing the trauma box roughly into the squad compartment, he slammed the door loudly. He placed his forearm on the side of the squad and leaned his head against it.

"You okay, Roy?" Captain Stanley asked and Roy jumped.

Pulling himself together, he cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'm okay, Cap. It has just been a rough day."

"Well you were relieved so go ahead and follow Johnny into Rampart. Then you can go home."

Roy looked down at the ground. "If it's alright with you, Cap. I'll just take the squad back to the station now."

To say Hank was stunned by Roy's reply was an understatement. He fumbled for something to say but finally just simply nodded. Roy glanced over at Johnny as he was escorted toward the waiting ambulance. He saw Johnny searching the group of men and knew it was his face that his partner was looking for. Quickly moving to the far side of the squad, he climbed into the driver's seat and hastily drove away.

Backing into the bay, Roy slid out of the squad and headed for the dorm. He careened into Bill Dickenson. "Hey, Roy. How is everything? How's Johnny?"

Roy looked past the man toward the locker room and decided to forego changing his clothes. "He's fine, Billy. Thanks. I'm just heading home. I'll see you later."

Roy rushed out into the parking lot and realized his car keys were in his locker. He came back in to find Billy standing with Charlie Dwyer. Both men had concerned looks on their faces.

"Forgot my car keys. I guess I'll change," Roy said, trying to sound casual.

He was thankful when neither of the men followed him into the locker room. By the time he came back out, he heard them in the kitchen so he slipped back out into the parking lot and quickly drove away. Stopping at a phone booth, he called Joanne at home and told her that Johnny had been hurt on a run but was fine. He didn't tell her that he had been released from duty also as that would elicit too many questions. He never lied to his wife but right now, he just needed time to think.

~ E ~

Aubrey came into Johnny's exam room as he was having an argument with Dr. Morton.

"Now look," Morton began, "I'm admitting you. I won't listen to your argument, Gage."

Johnny bristled at the use of his last name. "I'm telling you, I'm fine. A have a sprained ankle and a few bruises and scrapes. I want to go home."

"You were trapped under a building for almost three hours. I am keeping you here for observation. Don't make me call Captain Stanley to back me up." Morton looked over at Aubrey and smiled slightly then left the room.

Johnny let out an exasperated sigh.

"It's for the best, Johnny. Are you sure you are alright? That sounds pretty scary."

"Have you heard from Roy?" Johnny asked, distracted.

"No, wasn't he here already?" Aubrey understood that Roy would follow the ambulance to the hospital in the squad.

"That's just it, 110 brought me in. Roy went back to the station without coming here. I just don't understand it."

"Well, that is odd."

There was a knock on the door and then Captain Stanley poked his head in. "Can I come in?"

"Sure, Cap."

"How you feeling, Pal?"

"Just fine, Cap, but they won't let me out of here."

Cap ran his hand along the back of his head. "So, did Pacheco say anything to you on the way in?"

"How do you mean?" Johnny asked, puzzled.

"Well, that answers my question," Hank said looking over at Aubrey and then back to Johnny. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Aubrey understood that Hank needed time alone with his paramedic. She picked up her pocketbook. "I'll just go check on Delia. Dixie took her break early to watch her." She kissed Johnny on the cheek. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Hank pulled a stool over to Johnny's bed and sat down.

"What's going on, Cap? Is Roy okay? He didn't come here when I was brought in."

"Yeah about that," Hank began and then saw the worry on Johnny's face. "Physically, Roy is fine. But I need to explain to you what happened out there today."

By the time Aubrey returned, Hank had finished speaking to Johnny who sat stunned. He now understood his partner's erratic behavior. Hank smiled and said goodbye to Aubrey.

Seeing Johnny's face, Aubrey came over and put her hand on her husband's shoulder. "What's going on, Johnny?"

"Look, Bree, they are going to be bringing me upstairs to my room soon. You take Delia home and I will call you once I'm settled, okay?"

"I could drop her at Joanne's and come back."

"No, that's okay. I'll be home in the morning. Roy had a rough day. Do me a favor and don't bother them. I think he needs to decompress."

Aubrey studied Johnny for a minute. "If that is what you want, sure, G-Man."

Johnny smiled and pulled her to him. He kissed her gently. "I love you, Bree."

~ E ~

The next morning, Aubrey picked Johnny up after he was released. He was cleared to return to work the next shift which was in two days. Johnny was worried about his partner but decided to give him his space. He hoped that Roy would contact him during their days off.

Roy had spent the evening driving and ended up at a beach where he sat and watched the moon set. He wandered along the water's edge until it was too dark to see. He got back into his car and listened to the waves until they lulled him to sleep. He returned home at the same time he would have if he had worked the entire shift. When Joanne asked how Johnny was, his stomach twisted as he lied to her again saying that Johnny was fine and had gone home. He kept it vague enough so that if Joanne spoke to Aubrey, the lie may not be discovered.

Roy spent two tense days off hoping neither of the Gage's would call. When he returned from dropping Jenny off at dance class, Joanne said she had called Aubrey to check on Johnny and was happy to hear he was just fine and would return to work. Roy forced a smile. He was truly glad that Johnny was okay but the thought of going back to work made his chest feel tight and his stomach churn.

Joanne watched as Roy went onto the patio and slump into a chair. She sent Chris out with a beer for his father and relaxed when Chris and Roy started to talk about Chris' schoolwork.

~ E ~

Joanne watched Roy across the breakfast table. He was going back to work today and hadn't spoken to or seen Johnny since the last shift. Joanne wasn't sure what was going on but when she asked Roy about it, he snapped at her so she let it go. Roy met her gaze over his coffee cup. He smiled at her but it never reached his eyes. He picked up his breakfast dishes and placed them in the sink. He came to Joanne's side and kissed the top of her head.

"I'll see you in the morning," Roy said as he headed out of the house.

Less than a mile away, Aubrey also studied her husband as he got ready for work. She hoped once he and Roy were back at the station, things would return to normal. She planned to call Joanne and maybe stop over for a visit now that Johnny was back to work and the "give-Roy-space" decree was lifted. There had been other days off that they had not gotten together with the DeSotos but this time was different and Aubrey could see that Johnny was out of sorts.

Johnny picked up his keys and kissed Aubrey and then Delia who sat in her arms. He opened the front door and Aubrey turned to walk into the kitchen but felt Johnny pulling her back towards him. He kissed her again, this time more passionately. He then wrapped her and their daughter in a hug. Without a word, Johnny released them both and walked out the door into the morning sunshine.

~ E ~

Roy arrived at the station ahead of Johnny and walked through the bay toward the locker room. "Morning Roy," Mike called from the kitchen. Roy looked over his shoulder and waved without saying anything. Hank was standing outside his office and caught the interaction.

Roy mumbled hellos to Marco and Chet. He rushed to finish dressing before Johnny arrived. He was just pulling on his uniform shirt when he heard the crew greeting Johnny. They were all very happy to have him back amongst the living. Roy understood how they felt but he headed out of the locker room with his shirt only half buttoned and still untucked.

Johnny stopped as they met in the doorway of the locker room. "Hi, Roy," he said with a wide smile.

"Hi," Roy answered with barely a look in Johnny's direction. The junior paramedic's shoulders dropped and his smile fell away. Hank nodded hello at Roy and watched Johnny shuffle dejectedly into the locker room. He headed back into his office shaking his head.

Roll call was quiet and uneventful. Johnny didn't comment when he was assigned latrine duty. Everyone split up to their assigned chores. Hank let out a sigh and rubbed his hand across his chin. Things were not right and he was going to have to watch his crew-family carefully to try to figure out how to make things better.

The morning passed quietly. Roy took a cup of coffee over to the couch and grabbed the morning paper. Johnny was sitting at the table and looked up as his friend passed by. After not getting even an acknowledgement, Johnny stood up, stuck his hands in his pockets and left the room. Marco and Chet were across the table. Chet looked at Marco with a quizzical look in his eye and Marco just shrugged. They both looked over at Mike who was standing leaning on the counter near the sink. Mike looked over at Roy and shook his head in disgust.

The tones went off. _Squad 51, possible heart attack_.

Roy folded the paper and hurried to the squad. He took the address slip from Hank and passed it to Johnny.

Mike joined Hank in the bay and watched the squad pull out into the street. "What's going on with them, Cap?"

"I've been wondering the same thing. I don't like it."

After arriving at Rampart, Johnny waited for Roy at the base station. Dixie was doling out needed supplies and chatting about Delia when Roy came from the treatment room.

"Ready, Johnny?"

Dixie looked up from her inventory sheet and looked from Roy to Johnny. Johnny gave Dixie a half-hearted smile as he picked up the box of supplies and turned to follow his partner. Johnny had to walk double-time to catch up to Roy.

"Hold up, Roy. I need to restock," Johnny said as he came up behind him.

"Do it when we get back to the station." Roy sounded annoyed.

Johnny stopped outside the emergency room doors. "What the hell is your problem?"

Roy wheeled around to face Johnny. "What? I don't have a problem."

"Like hell you don't. You've been acting weird ever since the building collapse the other day."

Roy looked angrily at Johnny for a minute and then turned away. He threw the equipment he was carrying into the compartment and slammed the door. He got into the squad without saying anything more. Johnny looked down at the box of supplies in his hands. He opened the passenger side door and tossed the box onto the bench seat. Some of the contents spilled out but Roy just stared straight ahead. After Johnny got into the cab and shut the door, Roy drove to the station in silence. About a block away, a traffic light turned yellow and the car in front of them stopped short causing Roy to hit the brakes. His right hand flew out and pushed Johnny back against the seat.

Johnny pushed the hand away. "What the hell are you doing?"

Roy pulled his hand back as if he had been burned. "Oh, sorry," he mumbled, embarrassed.

"I'm not a child!"

"I know that," Roy shouted back. "It's just force of habit. I've been driving the kids around a lot lately."

"Bullshit. I've been your partner all these years and you have never done that."

"Let it go, Johnny," Roy said through clenched teeth.

Johnny opened his mouth to say something more but clapped it shut. He turned his head to stare out the side window.

By the time they got back to station, they had missed lunch. Roy shut down the engine and abruptly left the cab and stormed out of the bay into the back lot. Johnny watched him go. Chet had started to tell Roy that their lunch was warming in the oven but never got more than two words out before Roy disappeared out the door.

"We kept lunch for you, John," Chet said turning toward him.

"I'm not hungry, Chet," Johnny said. He turned on his heel and headed into the dorm.

Chet turned and looked at his captain, stunned.

The tones went off moments later and the station was called to a structure fire near the pier.

When they arrived, Station 10 was already on scene with Captain Stone directing the efforts to save the old building. Since the building was no longer used, there was no need for a rescue effort and Johnny and Roy joined in to fight the fire. Both the paramedics were relieved to be split up. Roy worked with Marco while Johnny supported Chet on the hose.

After fighting the blaze for an hour, Stoney gave the order to evacuate. As they pulled out, each man from both stations looked around and made a mental count of their crewmates before they could relax. Roy spotted Johnny come out last as the building flashed. Johnny was thrown forward into Chet and both men landed at the bottom of the front stairs. Roy broke into a jog to see if they needed help. He felt like the world shifted into slow motion as he watched Johnny jump back to his feet. Roy was now running as he watched Johnny's eyes scan the parking lot and then looked back at the building completely sheathed in flames. Before he could think about what he was doing, Roy leapt at Johnny and knocked him back down onto the pavement.

Johnny landed on his side with Roy on top of him. Instinctively, he pushed Roy off and scurried away on his hands and knees. He then jumped up and turned toward his partner. "What in God's name are you _doing_, Roy?"

Roy remained on the ground and looked up at Johnny. "I…I'm sorry."

Johnny pulled his helmet off and flung it across the parking lot. It collided with a chain linked fence and bounced off, striking the pavement. Johnny watched it spin on the edge of the brim and then come to rest about ten feet away. With an angry glare back at Roy, he strode over, picked up the helmet and headed back to the squad.

Chet watched Johnny's retreat and then made his way over to Roy who remained sitting on the ground, his arms supporting him from behind. Chet put out a hand and after a minute, Roy reached out and took hold. Chet pulled Roy to his feet and then turned and walked away in disgust.

"I…I'm sorry," Roy mumbled to no one but himself.

Back at the station, Roy strode to the hose tower and grabbed onto the steel bars. He held so tight, his knuckles turned white. 'What am I doing?' he thought to himself. 'Why am I pushing him away?' He rested his forehead against the cold steel of the tower and didn't hear anyone behind him until Hank spoke.

"Roy."

Roy's head lifted quickly. He didn't turn to meet the eyes of his superior. He didn't reply. He just put his head back down against the bars.

"What's going on?" Hank pressed.

Roy let out a frustrated breath. He finally turned to meet Hank's gaze. "I don't know, Cap." His voice was just above a whisper.

"I know you went through hell the other day," Hank began and Roy winced. He did not want to talk about that day. "But Johnny didn't die. And it wasn't his fault what happened."

Roy scrubbed a hand across the side of his face. "I know that."

"Then what is it?"

Roy turned away and tried to make sense of his feelings but wasn't able to put anything into words.

"Listen, I want you to make an appointment."

Roy threw his head back in frustration. "Not the psychiatrist, Cap."

"It's nothing to be ashamed or afraid of, Roy," Hank said. "Johnny saw him a year or so ago, remember?"

Roy started pacing. "Yes, of course I remember. He almost got himself killed trying to save me. He just jumped – without thinking – that's what he always does."

"That's it, isn't it?" Hank asked quietly.

Roy stopped pacing and turned his back to Hank. After a moment he nodded. He turned back toward his captain. "Yes, that's always it. He ran into a collapsing building without any regard for…"

"You?"

Roy shook his head. "No…Yes…" He slumped back against the hose tower and closed his eyes. "I don't know if I can do this anymore." Roy's heart was in his throat as he spoke the words aloud.

Hank turned back to the station and called over his shoulder. "In my office. Now."

The rest of the crew had gathered in the kitchen as Chet prepared dinner. They saw Hank stride through the Bay toward his office followed by a very agitated Roy.

Everyone then turned to look at Johnny who was sitting motionless at the table. He had also seen what happened but just lowered his eyes, not saying a word.

An hour later, Roy left the Captain's office and walked slowly into the dorm. Hank stepped in to the kitchen to find his crew picking at their dinner in silence.

"Chet, do me a favor and bring Roy a plate. He hasn't eaten all day."

"Sure, Cap."

"Is Roy okay?" Mike asked as he passed a platter to Hank.

Hank looked over at Johnny who was pushing his food around his plate with his fork, his head resting on his fist. Looking back at Mike, Hank simply whispered, "Later."

~ E ~

The next morning, Johnny quickly dressed with barely a word to anyone. As he headed out the back door, Roy rushed up behind him and grabbed his arm. Johnny twisted his arm free and spun to face him.

"I'm sorry, that was stupid," Roy said. "I didn't want you to leave just yet." Johnny didn't reply but simply stood and seethed. "Look, can we go somewhere and talk, Johnny?" Roy pleaded.

Johnny turned away then looked over his shoulder at Roy, his eyes just slits. "What for? So you can tell me that you put in for a transfer?"

"No, I didn't do that, Johnny." He tentatively put his hand on his friend's shoulder and turned him back toward him. "We need to talk."

Johnny took a step back, placing his hands on his hips and looked down at the floor. "About what?"

"I owe you an explanation."

Johnny's breathing evened out a bit. "I just want to go home and see my family."

Roy nodded his understanding. "Okay, will you come over tonight then? It will give us both a chance to think and relax first." Roy waited for Johnny to answer then added, "Please."

Finally Johnny just nodded and quickly walked off. Roy leaned against the wall and sighed.

~ E ~

Later that day, Aubrey and Johnny arrived at the DeSoto's house. Aubrey put Delia into the playpen near the couch and sat down next to Joanne with a sigh. Johnny stood looking at his feet while Roy stared out the back slider. After a moment, Joanne rolled her eyes at Aubrey. She got up and went into the kitchen.

She returned with two beers and handed them to Roy. "You two go play outside."

Roy took the beers and headed out the back door onto the patio. Aubrey looked up at Johnny who hadn't moved. She caught his eye and tipped her head toward the back door. With a mumbled 'okay,' Johnny followed Roy.

Roy sat down on a lounge chair and popped open his beer. Johnny walked to the far end of the patio and looked out into the yard, his back to Roy. Eventually, he opened his beer and downed half of it. Roy watched his partner's tense shoulders for a few minutes. He didn't know what to say or where to begin.

Johnny finally came back and sat down across from Roy. He put down the beer and rested his elbows on his knees.

"I'm sorry," Roy finally said. Johnny didn't react but continued to stare down at the patio blocks between his feet. "Johnny, I…" Roy began.

Johnny looked up at him when Roy didn't continue. "I'm sorry too."

"What? You have nothing to be sorry for, Johnny."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that the other day."

Roy looked away, his eyes suddenly stinging with tears. "I thought I'd lost you. I can't even explain how it felt." Taking in a ragged breath, Roy continued. "There have been times when you were hurt or you were in some situation that I was afraid you wouldn't make it out of but this time..." Roy closed his eyes to try to wipe away the images in his mind. "That was your arm, your hair, your watch. And you were dead."

Johnny leaned back in his chair. "Aw, man, Roy. I don't know what to say."

Roy shook his head slowly. "I don't ever want to come that close to losing you again," he whispered.

Johnny picked his beer up and downed it. He fiddled with the rim. "When you went into Cap's office, I thought you were requesting a transfer."

"That never entered my mind, I want you to know that," Roy said as he stared intently at Johnny who looked up and met his gaze. "But I do need to tell you something."

"What?"

"I've decided to take the captain's exam next month." Roy watched Johnny carefully who smiled a sad lopsided grin.

"That's great. It is." Johnny crushed the beer can in his hands and tossed it back onto the table.

"I wish I could continue to be a paramedic but it's time for a change. And the extra money…"

"Sure, sure, I understand." Johnny stood and walked back to the edge of the patio. "Three kids, and all. You should do it." He turned back around. "I'm happy for you."

"Are you, really, Johnny?"

"Yeah, sure. Of course."

"Then take the exam with me." Roy said and Johnny looked up sharply.

"Me?"

"Why not? You've been at this almost as long as I have. You'd make a fantastic captain, Junior."

Johnny finally laughed. "If I do – and pass – will you stop calling me that?"

"Never," Roy said with a grin.

"You just don't want to leave me behind without you being there to watch over me," Johnny said with mocked irritation.

"Yeah, well, I may have my ulterior motives. Captains are the ones giving the orders, not rushing into disasters."

Johnny chuckled and nodded his head, his cheeks reddening.

~ E ~

Four months later Johnny and Roy sat with thirteen other men to receive their captain's badge. Chief Houts handed the men their badges after speaking briefly to them. Johnny patted Bob Bellingham on the shoulder and gave him his congratulations as he headed in to get a cup of coffee with Roy.

The two friends then went out onto the deck behind the building and reminisced about their six years together.

Johnny reached over and touched Roy's captain's badge. "You finally made it, Captain."

"We both did," Roy replied.

Johnny nodded, smiling sadly. "Yeah, that we did."

Roy looked down at his empty coffee cup. "Well, guess I better get going home." Johnny looked over at him and nodded again, his eyes misting. "Joanne and the kids…you know."

Johnny forced a smile. "Yeah, well, I gotta go too so…" He got up from the table and Roy followed him. As they headed for the stairs down to the parking lot, Johnny said, "Listen now, um, we are going to be staying in touch with one another, right?" Although he and Roy had mended the rift from a few months back, their partnership at the station had been strained.

"Right. I mean, just because we're not working together…" Roy began.

"Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what I mean. It's just that, uh…well, you know what I mean." Johnny said as he leaned against the railing.

"Yeah, it's not like we're moving out of town or anything. We're still here. We're still in the same department." He looked away and then turned back to meet the eyes of his best friend. "We're still friends."

Johnny nodded. "Yeah, but still..." his voice hitched in his throat.

"Yeah," Roy replied. He couldn't believe that he wasn't going to meet Johnny at Station 51 the next day and jump in that squad with him.

"Roy, uh…" Johnny began.

"Yeah?"

Johnny choked back his tears and knew he wouldn't be able to continue. "Nothing," he choked out. He stood up and proudly placed his hat on his head. "Come on," he said, finally finding his voice. "I tell ya what, I'll walk you to out to your car."

"Alright," Roy said, laughing lightly. He wasn't sure he would be able to express what he was feeling just yet either. Johnny patted Roy on the shoulder and they walked to the parking lot.

~ E ~

Roy pulled in his driveway and noticed Joanne's car was not there. He saw a note taped to the door. He got out of his car and pulled his house keys from his pocket as he read the note: _Captain DeSoto, your presence is requested at the Stanley home XXOO_

Roy chuckled and dropped his house key back into his pocket. Climbing back into his car, he headed toward Hank's house.

Johnny pulled his car up to the door of the garage. He sat staring down at the steering wheel for a few moments and then got out and walked up to the front door. He found the note purposely written in child-like scrip. _Captain Daddy, come play with me at the Stanley's house, love Delia._

Johnny pulled the note off and smiled at it. Folding it and putting it in his pocket, he turned back to his car.

Roy laughed as he got out of his car in front of Hank's house. Johnny came up right behind him. They looked at all the familiar vehicles lining the sides of the street and filling Hank's driveway. "I expected maybe a cake and a balloon at home but I never expected this," Roy said in awe.

"No kidding," Johnny said with a grin.

The front door opened and both their families came spilling out. Aubrey handed Delia to Johnny. She was dressed in a frilly pink and white party dress. Johnny held her over his head and smiled as she giggled. Jenny came over to Roy, he bent down. She kissed his cheek as she placed a hand-made card in his hands. "Thank you, Jenny," Roy said kissing her. Chris gave Roy a rare hug and Joanne wiped a tear from her eye as she watched. She then held out Kevin and Roy laughed seeing the pin-striped pants, black vest and bow tie on the little baby. Both wives wrapped their arms around their husbands and maneuvered them into the house. It took another 30 minutes for Roy and Johnny to make their way to each person there. Chet popped the cork off a bottle of champagne and poured drinks for all the adults while the kids got sparkling cider.

Roy grabbed onto Johnny's wrist and pulled him along as finally they made it over to Hank and Emily. "Thank you both so much. This is amazing." Roy said.

"Yeah, thanks." Johnny said beaming.

~ E ~

The party lasted into the night with lots of music and laughter. People filtered in and out until eventually it was just the A-shift of Station 51 sitting around the fire pit in Hank's backyard. Johnny and Roy leaned against the back fence and watched their friends having fun. Johnny gestured over toward Mike and Chet who were sitting across the way with Tessa and Carli. "Those two may end up brothers-in-law," he said laughing.

"You may be right," Roy replied. Aubrey and Joanne took the babies inside to change them and lay them down. Roy looked over at his friend. "Hey, Partner, can I ask you a question?"

Johnny shook his head. "You can't call me that anymore. And you can't call me Junior so you are out of nicknames." His laugh was melancholy. "What's the question," he asked after a moment.

"Back there at headquarters, what were you going to say to me?"

Johnny took in a breath and blew it out slowly. He shrugged, "I just wanted to say that you were the best partner anyone could ever have. You are also the best friend a guy could ever have and I hope we can always be this close."

Roy smiled and then looked away briefly. He turned back to Johnny. "I feel the same way. You know, I think from the day you came in to headquarters to talk to me about the paramedic program, I know we would end up as partners but I never could have hoped to gain a brother too."

Johnny's eyes glistened in the firelight. He put an arm around Roy's shoulder and then said, "Ah, what the hell" and pulled Roy into a hug. They both did the customary manly slap-on-the-back hug and then as Johnny pulled away he said quietly. "Love you, brother."

Roy smirked. "Love you too…_Junior_."

Johnny started laughing loudly. "Aw, man. Cut that out!"

Johnny stifled his laughter and asked, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, Johnny."

Johnny thought carefully about what he was going to say. His face became serious. "When Chief Houts handed me this badge he said something about me 'finally cracking one.'"

"Oh, yeah." Roy said, remembering.

"What the heck did he mean by that?"

Roy studied the sincere look of confusion on Johnny's face. He then burst out laughing.

**The End**


End file.
